


painful absence

by stitchesforsnitches



Category: Cyndago - Fandom, Matt Watson - Fandom, Ryan Magee - Fandom, Youtubers, supermega
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Daniel is mentioned and so is his passing, Game Grumps crew and Mark are also mentioned, Light fluff but mostly angst, M/M, Other, Platonic or Romantic Ryan/Matt, Sad Ryan and Matt, Short, This is my first piece of completed writing aaaa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:53:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22930537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stitchesforsnitches/pseuds/stitchesforsnitches
Summary: "daniel was gone, but the memories were not. he was imprinted onto the corners of ryan's brain, the backs of his eyelids, and the latter was so grateful for that."-intentional lowercasei wrote this while i was really sad one night, so if it's bad - please forgive me. i'm not great at writing angst either, sorry!
Relationships: Ryan Magee/Matt Watson
Comments: 9
Kudos: 17





	painful absence

the sound of a guitar was painfully absent as he sat in his room.

he should have been there, he thought to himself, laughing with him as they tried to think of lyrics for a new song, or tried to jot down ideas for a new video. he should have been sat beside him as they played video games, nudging each other in a playful way, joyful giggles filling the room. he should have been sat with him, talking the night away while ryan stared at the ceiling, daniel absentmindedly strumming the strings of one of his guitars. he should have been there, but he wasn't. he wasn't and that was painful.

ryan sighed to himself, looking up at the ceiling like he had done so many times before with daniel by his side; it didn't feel right. he chewed on his lower lip and closed his eyes, focusing his thoughts on his memories with his best friend; he recalled the countless times he had walked alongside daniel back to his house, and the time they had recorded their first sketch together. he smiled a little at the thoughts, seeing them printed onto his eyelids as if he was there once again.

he remembered the endless pennies thrown at his window whenever he didn't answer daniel's calls. opening his eyes, he instinctively looked towards his windowsill, noticing a singular copper coin placed upon it; with a small chuckle, he sat up and reached for it, hesitating slightly before he picked it up. he turned it around in his hands, examining it's misshapen edges with a fond smile; he would give anything to hear that tap against his window one last time.

tap.

he threw the coin himself, lightly, towards the window, his chest swelling with a sad happiness and nostalgia as he heard that noise ricocheting off his walls and into his ears. he caught the coin once again and placed it back carefully, shifting his body to press his back against the wall.

daniel was gone, but the memories were not. he was imprinted onto the corners of ryan's brain, the backs of his eyelids, and the latter was so grateful for that. he looked over to the door across from him as he heard it open, watching as matt's lanky form slid into the room, freezing for a second as he looked towards ryan. the latter smiled softly, glancing towards the digital clock on his bedside table; it was nearly three in the morning, so matt had either had a nightmare, not been able to sleep, or was editing his half of game grumps videos.

"oh," he heard matt mumble sheepishly. the taller man rubbed the back of his neck, chuckling bashfully. "i was kinda hoping you'd be asleep.." he added on, and ryan found himself laughing softly, patting the space to his right and gesturing for matt to come sit by him anyways.

"nah," ryan shook his head as matt took the offered seat beside him, "thinkin' about daniel.." he finished after a small pause, subconsciously leaning his head onto matt's shoulder, the other's arm moving to wrap around his waist. the blonde sighed softly, and ryan found himself looking up at him. "why're you up?"

"i just...uh, couldn't get to sleep." it was a simple response, but it answered his question nonetheless. ryan nodded softly, briefly thinking about how complete this scenario would be if daniel was at his left, and how nice it would be to fall asleep sandwiched between the two people he loved most. he looked at the wall across from them both, his hand blindly searching for matt's. a small smile came to his lips as he felt how quickly they simply intertwined their fingers and let their hands fall into matt's lap.

"i miss daniel, matt.." magee mumbled, closing his eyes. watson gently squeezed his hand before resting his head atop ryan's brown mop of hair. the skinnier of the two had rarely found himself thinking back to daniel, the memories of his passing causing too much pain; he wondered if ryan was in a lot of pain, silently hoping he was not. "i know, ryan.." he responded quietly, thinking back to the making of blonde boyz, and to their countless unfinished songs and sketches. he thought back to when the three of them had recorded the seven second challenge video with mark, and how much fun it had been. he missed those times, but that definitely wasn't him saying that he and ryan didn't have as much fun together or with the game grumps crew; he wished daniel could be there with them, but he wasn't. he found himself shuffling closer to ryan, closing his own eyes, and he sighed softly, "i do too.."

the sound of a guitar was painfully absent as they sat on the small bed within the corner of ryan's room. two silhouettes were printed firmly onto the wall across from them, but if you were to look closely, you would faintly see a third.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading, i hope you enjoyed?? please feel free to leave any thoughts in the comments haha -


End file.
